house burned down part 2

11 jan continued. tinx still had her phone, started calling people while we were watching the house burn down. my dad showed up, george, tito esmer. around 4am tinx and i put our pitiful pile of clothes in jules's car while we biked to tinx's house. still had my laptop that i'd just finished reformatting when the fire started. i had backed up files to a flashdrive, but that was gone now. one tiny bit of luck was i'd left my portable hard drive at tito esmer's place, most of my stuff was backed up there too.

felt peaky and numb, pulse still elevated. we biked back to the burned-out house when the sun came up, hoping momo got out. biked all over the neighborhood, whistling, nothing. went to tito esmer's place to get my hard drive, had a few movies and series in there. tinx and i watched big bang theory and got some sleep.

all my stuff, gone. couple of hundred books. all my anime, west wing, the wire, gone. talked to bank to withdraw money and replace atm card, thank god that was surprisingly painless as i now have no identification. my files, birth certificate, school records, gone. went to work to arrange for a few days off.

2nd night at tinx's place, couldn't sleep, watched fringe. we'd worked out that i would stay at my dad's old place at diliman. got there in the morning, tita beema got me some clothes, some cash. ron let us in, dad had partially cleared one room of junk. tinx went into obsessive cleaning mode, i helped.

past few days are a little blurred. replaced cellphone, shoes, some pants. we're cleaning up the rest of the house. still miss my cat. we've been back to the burned-up house 3 or 4 times, we've handed out and put up "reward for lost cat" flyers. having trouble sleeping, i'm restless but numb and desultory. sometimes i reach and touch the edges of my grief, and i'm amazed at how much of it there is. we love you, momo. loved you for as long as we could.