"She did not care for children's books in which the children grew up, as what "growing up" entailed (in life as in books) was a swift and inexplicable dwindling of character; out of a clear blue sky the heroes and heroines abandoned their adventures for some dull sweetheart, got married and had families, and generally started acting like a bunch of cows."
-Donna Tartt, The Secret History

so hard to write now. i've seen how some people lose their coolness, become diminished, banal, as they get older. i've resisted that, though a part of me wonders if that's just how it goes. but mostly i don't think so.

"We don't play," Constanza said with a scowl. "We talk, and explore."
-Alastair Reynolds, Chasm City

reading some books, i've thought, "if my life were that interesting, then i wouldn't need fiction as entertainment anymore, because i would already be living the dream, and ordinary stories would be tawdry in comparison." life's not that interesting, but the day-to-day stuff does tend to take up a lot of mindspace. but that's the game, isn't it? trying to make your way in the world without losing your soul. and crooked and unfair as it is, it's the only game in town, for everyone everywhere.